crosebay.blogg.se - Adult funny pages

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What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?.Who’s there? Dewey! Dewey who? Dewey see a condom? It’s dark in here! It’s all good until you realize you’re only screwing yourself. Why is masturbation just like procrastination?.“Why are you shaking? She’s going to eat me!” What did the banana say to the vibrator?.Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina?.Not someone who? Not someone who will get you laid. What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion?.Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus. What’s the difference between your penis and a bonus check?.What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?.Mirror: “You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get seven years of bad luck!” Condom: “Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)” Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”.What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?.What are the three shortest words in the English language?.What’s the difference between a G-spot and a clitoris?.I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” “I don’t understand, doc,” the patient says. The doctor walks in and says, “I have some bad news. A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office.

It says, “Damn, that was one hell of an orgy!”

A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti….

What do you call a person who doesn’t masturbate?.

My girlfriend asked me if I smoke after sex….

What did the clitoris say to the vulva?.

The old man asks, ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.” Best Sex Jokes The old man lies on the bed, but the old woman lies down on the floor.

An old couple is ready to go to sleep.

What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?.

The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.” “You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied.

An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs.

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?.

He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.īecause I put on the wrong sock this morning.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?.

Did you hear about the man who got turned into a giant penis?.

What do you do if your wife starts smoking?.

Who’s there? Asshole! Asshole who! Open the door and find out, asshole!

#Adult funny pages skin#

What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis?.What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman?Ī man will actually press and pull a microwave’s buttons and knobs.How do you spot a blind man on a nude beach?.What is six inches long, two inches wide, and makes everyone go crazy?.If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts. What does one boob say to the other boob?.You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone. What did the elephant ask the naked man?.

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RELATED: The Steamiest Free Literotica-Style Online Erotica We Can Find Best Dirty Jokes Just don’t read this bunch before any big board meetings - you’re going to be stifling your laughter all damn day. So, keep reading to find our favorite naughty funnies. We even brought out the big guns by throwing in a few dirty jokes of the knock-knock variety. RELATED: These Insults And Funny Comebacks Are Golden

That’s what makes us love dirty jokes even more - they’re like a treat at the end of the day, after bedtime, when only the adults are left standing. And it can be both of those things both in and out of the bedroom. Also, let it be said that you don’t have to feel any shame for being here. You’re going to want to have a few raunchy zingers handy for the next random occasion you want to flex your naughty comedic chops. Here’s the surprising thing: Dirty jokes pop up (do ya see what we did there?) much more than you might think. (So, yeah, keep them away from kids.) We’ve got everything from masturbation quips to immature schoolyard jests about oral sex. Plenty on this hilariously inappropriate list are sex jokes and dirty riddles that are totally inappropriate for kids. Is there anything funnier than some NSFW dirty jokes that get you laughing when you shouldn’t? We don’t think so, and that’s why we’ve compiled a list of the best dirty jokes and one-liners that’ll have you struggling to keep a straight face. Laughter is the best medicine, after all! But some of us have a slightly more twisted sense of humor than others. Sometimes you need a little humor to get you through the day.